The divorce statistics in the US alone is depressing. According to research, one couple is divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. In fact, before you even got to finish reading this article, one couple has already filed for divorce! Marriage is apparently more complicated than it might initially appear… not everyone gets to experience the happily ever after they imagine when exchanging their vows. Would you like to prevent your marriage going down this route? I bet you do! You will find these 7 strategies helpful to keep your marriage together!
1. Know Your Boundaries
When you commit into a marriage, it is completely different level of commitment as compared to when you are dating someone. It is therefore important for both spouses to openly discuss what is considered cheating or what is not within the context of your relationship. What does this do to your marriage, you ask? Communication is a crucial aspect for success in any relationship, but more so in a marriage. By effectively communicating what you want and especially what you don’t want from your partner, it allows you both to act on the same page.
Couples mediator and counselors believe it is important to have this talk early on in your marriage. What would you consider cheating? Don’t wait until something comes along before you start to set boundaries.
Now, that you have this clear, you can move on to the next more important step in making sure your marriage don’t end up in divorce.
2. Make Your Partner Feel Loved
If you look back to the first strategy, you might be scared that your husband or wife will start to feel restricted within your marriage. But if you make them feel loved, they will understand that your actions are based off your effort to protect your marriage. You have to recognize that the emotions of your spouse are fragile – don’t stop sending them messages of love and intimacy.
When was the last time you’ve told your wife she was beautiful? Or when was the last time that you cooked dinner for your husband? Small acts of compassion and love can go a long way. These small efforts combine to form a tight bond between you two. Nurture that. It will get you through the most difficult stages in your relationship.
And speaking of nurturing your love for each other, this next tip will not only prevent divorce, but also reinforce your love for one another.
3. Make Your Spouse Your #1 Priority
When you enter into the sacrament of marriage, you become a conjugal unit. The “I” is dissolved in the equation and you become a “we” instead. Selfless love is the key to a lasting marriage. Therefore, you should make your spouse your number one priority. This does not mean, however, that you should neglect yourself in the process. In fact, taking good care of yourself is of the essence. But if you want your marriage to last, you need to set aside time for date nights or spending time with just the two of you (for couples with kids).
When you distance yourself from each other too much, it will only be a matter of time until that distance becomes too wide. Don’t wait for that to happen before you do something. Even just one day a week will rejuvenate your relationship.
This next strategy will show you how you can make your spouse feel like they are truly number one in your life…
4. Show them Support
It’s true; your spouse will need all the support they can get from you. You should be their number one cheerleader! It can be in the professional or personal aspect… your support will mean the most to them!
Did your husband get a promotion at his job? Surprise them with a dinner party at home or at his favorite restaurant to celebrate. Or did your wife do an excellent job of looking after the kids at home? Let them know about it. Leaving them a little “thank you” note or an unexpected bouquet of flowers will make them happy.
If you don’t fill that role of a supporter, they will search for that support and appreciation somewhere else. One of the beautiful things about marriage is the opportunity to do and cherish things together. This is one way to do that. But if that is not enough, then why don’t you try this next step?
5. Continue Your Adventure
One of the common complaints by married couples is that they rarely ever had time to travel or go out of the house. This is often true for married couples with kids! However, you should not let that stop you from experiencing new adventures together. In fact, you should be going on more trips and exploring new experiences together now that you are married.
One thing you can do to rekindle the romance in your marriage is to go on a trip with just the two of you. You can leave the kids behind (for couples with kids). If you cannot afford a trip out of town or country, you can go out of the house and take on a new adventure. You can go for a swim or a hike, maybe? Whatever suits your fancy or idea of adventure, go for it!
There is no formula for what makes a lasting marriage. But this next one is guaranteed to improve things tremendously…
6. Spice Up Your Intimacy Level
Sexual intimacy and passion are two of the most important components in a happy and healthy marriage. Sadly, a lot of married couples neglect their passionate side, especially when they start having kids. But you should not let this stop you from being affectionate or intimate with your spouse. Do not just falsely assume that your love will endure. It is a by-product of your actions that you express to your partner on a daily basis.
For example, make sure you kiss your wife at least once a day. You should also say “good night” to your partner before going to bed. Or, hug your spouse a few times a day or whenever you can. Nurture that intimacy. This is also one factor that will spice up your relationship. In fact, your spouse might be longing for that intimate touch of yours that make them want to run to your arms by the end of the day.
7. Reinvent Things… All the Time
Have you been married for a while? Have you heard about the 7-year inch? There is a stigma within the modern society about relationships suffering from boredom over a certain period of time. It has nothing to do with love or affection – two people could possibly fall out of love after some time due to boredom. How sad can this be?
Thankfully, you can prevent that from happening by constantly reinventing your outlook of the relationship. In order for this to work, both parties must be fully willing and cooperative. You can do this by changing up your routine. Or try assigning different responsibilities at home. Let him do the laundry once in a while as you help the kids do their homework, etc. You can even take on a home re-modeling project to change the mood within your home. Do whatever suits you to breathe a fresh air into your relationship.
It might be convenient to come up with a list of formulaic strategies to prevent divorce. However, what it all comes down to is you – you and your spouse. Only you can determine if you want to keep your relationship or go from “I do” to ‘”I’m done”. But one thing is for sure, if you’ve invested in the relationship, you can reap its benefits.
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